Religion vs. Rocky

Religion vs. Rocky

JANUARY 2004

Every now and again you see a news story proclaiming that faithful people who attend religious services regularly live longer than those wicked atheists who sleep in on weekends and then watch re-runs of oh, say, Rocky and Bullwinkle. One such story by Reuters, using the Journal of Gerontology as a main source, spouted the usual statistics, rattling off the numbers and the names of the Experts. "Numerous" studies, we are told, have suggested that religious belief and observance has a positive influence on health.

[For those of you who do not know who Rocky & Bullwinkle are, a brief explanation: Some 40 years ago a cartoon show premiered on American TV that featured "Rocky" the flying squirrel and "Bullwinkle" his devoted companion. Bullwinkle is a moose. Tremendously successful, it is still in re-runs. Variously called Rocky and His Friends and The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and finally just The Bullwinkle Show, the cartoon series appealed to both children and adults because of the excellence of the writing staff. There was enough buffoonery to appeal to children and enough political satire and truly awful puns (which flew over the heads of the kids) to make the parents laugh. Example: The evil character Boris, with a heavy Russian accent, says, "Remember, a fiend in need is a fiend indeed!" And Rocky: "Bullwinkle, you didn’t fall down that elevator shaft!" Bullwinkle: "Was I supposed to?" Rocky: "Was the shaft empty?" Bullwinkle: "No, but watch out for that first step. They should post a sign." And so on.]

Anyway, one study cited by Reuters examined data on levels of religious attendance in a group of nearly 4,000 Americans ages 65 years or older. A total of 1,177 subjects died over the 6-year study period. Dr. Harold Koenig and his colleagues at Duke University Medical Center, along with the National Institute for Healthcare Research, published their findings of this study. They noted that of the subjects who attended religious service once a week or more, 22.9% died compared to 37.4% of those who attended services less than once a week. They claimed that overall, the regular attendees were at a 46% reduced risk for death over the 6-year-period. That sounds like a whopping reduction; but only later do we learn that when race, gender and health practices are factored in, that number drops dramatically to 28%.

"There are multiple pathways by which religious attendance may reduce mortality and enhance survival," said Dr. Koenig. He pointed out that regular worship may lower levels of depression and anxiety, reinforce responsible healthcare habits, and reduce the likelihood of bad health habits such as smoking, drinking and unsafe sexual activity.

Okay, now, wait a minute. (Why the National Institute for Healthcare Research is wasting time on studying religions is a puzzle straight off.) However, this study, like all the others I’ve seen over the years, ignored this very important factor: That is, sick people are less likely to attend services even if they wanted to. Whether out at the golf courses or in wheelchairs (or watching Rocky) what category do nonbelievers fall into in these studies? In "once a week or less" or are they not considered at all? Chronically ill True Believers who must stay home, and chronically ill nonbelievers make all these "Church Attendance Prolongs Life" studies meaningless. But they keep publishing them anyway, don’t they?

As for the improbable claims about stress and anxiety, you can’t lower stress levels more than by watching Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons. Can’t be done. And I’d highly recommend it. In addition, look at the photos accompanying this article. Some of the people look frightened and some just look like sheep, waiting for instructions from a Border Collie.

The most striking feature in most of these photos is the complete lack of individuality. The sheep analogy works; you might call them "sheeple" with the only difference being attire. Sheeple with hats, sheeple without hats. This is the goal of organized religions—to remove any sense of self. The nun on the floor, lying on her stomach in abject, slavish abasement, along with the Muslims at prayer, are a powerful reminder of how a person must discard critical thinking and self-esteem to fully embrace their Gods.

And the Holy-Roller’s blood pressure must be easily 210 over 120. Reduce stress? I don’t think so! The image of those tiny children holding "symbolic" swords is simply criminal. The last thing in the world children need to be taught is anything at all about weapons.

The social aspects of church attendance, which I’ve written about many times, are of course very beneficial, as are any social activities. Women’s clubs, men’s clubs, tennis clubs, bridge clubs, Friends of the Library, and on and on, are all important for the social species known as Homo sapiens. Churches have no monopoly on socialization, although the sense of bonding is sometimes more powerful in religious groups.

But as for the statement that religious attendance would "reinforce responsible healthcare habits" I am at a loss. Except for the Mormons and a few strict fundamentalist religions, there is no difference between the pious and the impious when it comes to doing stupid stuff to our bodies that will harm us. Jesuit priests are famous for their love of Scotch whiskey. The older the better.

The assertion that regular worship may reduce "unsafe sexual activity" is not only absurd but, in the case of the Roman Catholic Church, a very, very hot potato. Their priesthood is rife with pedophilia. And church attendance has nothing whatever to do with the human sex drive, no matter how much the preachers scream about it. Every church and synagogue in the world has had its share of pregnant brides. And for Catholics at least, since their Church is flat-out lying to them about the use of condoms, regular attendance on their part would definitely mean an increase in unsafe sexual activity. Condoms are not 100% effective (neither are birth control pills or antibiotics or any other medical treatments) but they most definitely reduce by a huge factor the possibility of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases. They also reduce the chances of starting an unwanted pregnancy, so of course the Pope says they’re forbidden. The Pope loves unwanted pregnancies and unwanted babies, and the deaths by starvation that are often the result of those unwanted babies. The Pope is such a loving person!

One thing those religion/health studies always leave out is that there is physical health and then there is mental health, with the latter usually being far more important than the former. My mail alone would prove to any shrink how detrimental religion can be to your mental health. My own experiences as a youth were bad enough. I was truly frightened about hell. But some of my mail is just sickening. People have told me hair-raising stories about how they could think of nothing but the fear of hell, and how their parents would scream at them about hell, and how their priests/ministers harangued about hell. Hell, hell, hell. Damnation, pain, fire, torture, the Devil, demons, eternal agony! I cannot think of a worse form of child abuse. And that’s because aside from just the terribly real fears children must live with, they are also told how sinful, wicked, unworthy, and generally rotten they are. What an appalling way to raise a child! Growing up is hard enough without such heavy burdens being heaped on such small shoulders. And those feelings of fear and unworthiness are usually carried on into adulthood, constituting a form of mental illness. Teaching children about the Devil and hell is a form of abuse and there’s no getting around it.

So, the next time you see one of those "True Believers Live Longer" studies, keep in mind that even if it were true (and it isn’t because shut-ins are naturally going to skew all studies) that doesn’t address the tremendous amount of mental agony that is inflicted on people by most religions. So if you’re feeling anxious or stressed, find a video tape or a satellite channel and sit back and enjoy the antics of Rocky the flying squirrel and his intrepid companion, Bullwinkle. Now that’s mental health.

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