An Atheist Christmas!

DECEMBER 1999

We Vishnu a merry Krishna,

We Vishnu a merry Krishna,

We Vishnu a merry Krishna,

And a Hopi New Year!


Many atheists are inflexible, vehemently so, about "celebrating" Christmas. They say that participating in any of the traditional Christmas activities, such as decorating a tree or exchanging gifts, is a betrayal of the very essence of atheism. Many atheists say this loudly, often and angrily. To them I would say, let's worry about school prayer, making Christmas a national holiday, displaying the so-called Ten Commandments on public property, setting up public schoolroom crèches and so on. But please stop obsessing over my front door wreath! If you want nothing to do with the Christmas holidays, fine. But I'd appreciate a little slack when I do participate. Since you know nothing of my motivations, you really have no reason to criticize.

Apparently most Christmas traditions are borrowed from earlier pagan religions. This makes sense, since early humans must have watched anxiously as the winter sun slipped lower and lower toward the horizon. What if it just kept going and never came back? I'm fairly certain the first human inhabitants of, say, Sweden, during their first frigid winter, were certain that was precisely what was happening. Bye-bye sun. Bye-bye life. Looks like we blew it by heading north.

So the joy that resulted from the sun's gradual ascent, after such a worrying dark period, must have been close to ecstasy! (Accompanied, perhaps, by a bit of resentment toward the sun for pulling such a cruel stunt every year!) It also follows then that a celebration would definitely be called for. We're talking party time! Evergreen trees, berries, anything that did not seem to "die" every winter, would be an integral part of any such celebration. Evergreens represent, in a way, everlasting life. So decorate them, dance around them, sing, and party hearty! Enter Christmas.

The overlapping, nearly identical symbolism shared by the rebirth of the sun, and the birth of the "Son," scream out for recognition. Add to that the date of the winter solstice, usually around December 22, and the fact that the most influential god around the Mediterranean when Jesus was supposedly born, Mithra, had his Holy Day on December 25, and "Christmas" is defined. If there was a historical Jesus, no one has a clue when he was born. But it most assuredly was not on December 25.

Moving on then, what's wrong with non-theists co-opting Christmas, just as Christianity co-opted Mithra's birthday? I, for one, am always delighted to see the sun begin its climb in the sky every December. I hate those short, gloomy days when it's already dark long before dinnertime. And while my childhood was unmistakably saturated by my Christian faith, I was also a normal kid. To an eight-year-old looking at a Christmas tree poised over a cornucopia of beautifully wrapped presents, Jesus could come or go—who cared? There was so much fun to be had at Christmas!

I will interrupt my eulogizing about Christmas to say a word about Santa Claus. It's wrong. It's just plain wrong. Life hits us over the head often enough. There is no need to make things any harder for our own children by lying to them about a fat white man who has flying reindeer (?) and gives presents to all good little boys and girls at Christmas. Well, at least to all children not living in Third World Countries, and in households with enough money to manage gift-buying. That famous song, made popular by Nat King Cole, "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot," describes, sadly, the vast majority of the world's children.

I can still remember, vividly, the day I learned there was no Santa Claus. I don't remember my age, but I must have been quite young, since my sister learned at precisely the same moment, and she was two and a half years older than I. It was during the Christmas season. While playing with a couple of girlfriends, who were sisters, down in their basement, we all stumbled across an enormous stash of toys! Their parents were furious, sent me and my sister home and actually spanked our friends for being where they shouldn't have been! (Horrible!) We stumbled home in a daze, and that is when our mother sat us down on the huge ottoman in front of her easy chair. She informed us there was no Santa Claus.

Many people remember the terrible disillusionment of that moment; but what upset me the most, what shook me to my foundations, was that my parents had lied to me. This was unthinkable. Screw the toys. My parents had lied. To understand the enormity of this, you must remember my strict, fundamentalist Christian upbringing: Sunday School, prayers at all meals and bedtime, Bible readings after dinner, grandfather a Missouri Synod Lutheran minister (and he personified the essence of perfect morality), repeated, forceful enjoinders to be good and never lie. My young world fell apart at that moment. I'll never know of course, but it is just possible that on that dreadful day a tiny cynic was born.

But leaving this parental betrayal aside, why on earth do people feel the need to promote this preposterous farce? I defy anyone to tell me that your average seven-year-old, bored senseless because she can't often run off her natural energy outdoors at this time of year, would be disappointed at the thought of engaging in the following activities, sans Santa: putting a gorgeous tree in your living room!; watching the whole world light up in colored lights; baking cookies and fudge; eating cookies and fudge; buying gifts; wrapping gifts; receiving gifts (this one was the all-around favorite); singing songs; visiting relatives and friends; stuffing yourself on special, mouth-watering meals; counting presents under the tree, daily, to make sure you had more than your little brother; and creating really spectacular masterpieces with glitter and glue to stun and impress your parents. This is fun stuff. What kid could possibly say she wanted no part of this unless a magic fat man was involved? Since there is usually so much gift-giving from so many others anyway, why is Santa needed? Answer: He isn't!

Well, having got that major rant off my chest, I have only one more minor rant before moving on. Namely, why does anyone make those horrible fruit cakes? I don't think anyone has ever really eaten one. And you know those awful, little, rubbery red and green things in those cakes? What are they?

Anyway, to a real kid, Christmas is the only real holiday. And as long as there were no clothes in your packages, you had a really cool Christmas. It didn't matter if the gift you received was one of those cheesy little hand-toys, where you try to get both of the gold bee-bees into the doggie's eye sockets or something. If it was a toy, it was better than a pearl-adorned, cashmere sweater. Look, when you're eight, you know what's important. So I looked forward to, and truly enjoyed, every Christmas. Now and again I'd think of the Baby Jesus, but let's face it; he couldn't hold a candle to an Etch-a-Sketch. Can't we atheists participate in all the revelry and tell our children we are doing it because we're happy to have our family and friends, and the short winter days are boring, and it's just a hell of a lot of fun to do it?

You'll notice I'm using the word "Christmas," another practice for which I am often taken to task by fellow atheists. But there's a reason I use that word. It's because that's the name of it. Someday the word may drop out of common usage the way "Michaelmas" did. But I'm not living in "someday." I am living in today, like many of the rest of us. And if someone wishes me a "Merry Christmas" I do not feel a powerful urge to rip his throat out. I let is pass, and smile at the thought that someone wishes me well, however superficially. I should be so lucky that a cheerful "Merry Christmas" is the worst thing that happens to me on any given day.

After I grew out of the kid stage, I began to appreciate the beauty of Christmas music. I had the advantage, of course, of having a father who was an excellent pipe organist, so in addition to hearing this music in church, and on the radio, I also heard it at home. Dad would play carols and we'd all stand around the piano singing. And Händel's Messiah is a joy to the ear—I don't care what the message is. Actually, there isn't much being said in this glorious work, just a few passages repeated over and over—but oh, how beautifully! Likewise, Mozart's Ave Verum is arguably the most lovely choral piece ever written. I could go on, but the point is that I can enjoy this gorgeous music without giving a rap about the lyrics. They're almost always in Latin anyway, so who cares? As long as those lyrics stay out of tax-supported, public buildings why shouldn't we enjoy wonderful music?

My mother made the best turkey stuffing west (or east) of the Mississippi. And her gravy was always a guaranteed, blue-ribbon success. I fondly remember the tantalizing, delectable aromas that always filled our house at Christmas. May I never forget them. My parents are both gone now, and I miss them terribly. But when I am decorating my Christmas tree, and listening to, say, Bach's Christmas Oratorio, I feel a sense of continuity with my own past and my dearly missed parents. Pleasant memories flood in, as welcome as the flowers in spring, when I listen to Christmas music. I savor those memories. To deny myself those pleasures because I am an atheist, is to cut off my nose to spite my face. It would be just plain stupid.

Life is difficult and short. If we can add some merriment to is, we should go for it. Every time. If others misinterpret the wreath on my front door, that is their problem, not mine. And they can always ask me about it, in which case they will probably get more of an answer than they bargained for. But I am not going to deny myself the joys of gift-giving and eggnog just because other people may misinterpret those things as religious. I refuse to allow Christians to take away my gingerbread men. Or The Nutcracker Suite.

Instead of avoiding Christmas like the plague, hiding in our homes with the shades pulled down, let's TAKE BACK DECEMBER! There is a delicious irony in atheists who celebrate Christmas; it appeals to my often warped sense of humor. I've enjoyed the startled confusion on more than one face as I explain my atheism while standing in front of my Christmas tree.

I acknowledge no God; but I do indeed acknowledge a treasure chest of loving memories associated with Christmas. And I plan to continue enjoying Christmas, just as I did in my youth. The only difference, I guess, is that today I think I'd rather have the pearl-adorned, cashmere sweater.


© 1999 Judith Hayes


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