JULY 1999
If I hear the words "Ten
Commandments" one more time I think I'll throw up. I don't
know whether I'm more pissed off or depressed. I'd say it's too
close to call. I am as stunned as anyone by the audacious, sanctimonious
and entirely unconstitutional actions of the House of Representatives.
On June 17, they voted in favor of displaying the Ten Commandments
in public buildings, including of course schools. The House showed
yet again that they are determined to make the USA a theocracy.
If ever a House vote could be said to be not just wrong but stupid,
this is it. The vote was 248-180. And it is stupid as hell.
Why? The unconstitutional nature of their outrageous proposal
is practically a given. How they could not know that is beyond
me. The time that's being wasted over this nonsense, at taxpayer
expense, will only increase as the inevitable court challenge
comes about if this insanity is made law. The vote itself was
just a knee-jerk, backlash reaction to the country's anger about
the availability of guns, following the shooting massacre at Columbine
High School. But instead of focusing on our preposterous gun laws,
the House played the religious card and began singing the Moral
Values Begin in Church Anthem. (Which kind of church?)
(I still haven't figured out [1] when the amendment was passed
that made the NRA the fourth branch of government or [2] what
the hell is the NRA's problem with waiting periods? They fight
them tooth and nail, but why? The only possible answer is that
if someone flies into a blind rage, like O.J. on a bad day; and
goes into a gun shop to buy a gun to blow away his entire family
or faculty or student body; and then has to wait three days, he
might lose some of that rage and not be able to do it. Blow away
all those people I mean. I guess the NRA doesn't want us to have
that right taken away from us—to blow away lots of people I
mean. So I guess we owe the NRA thanks after all for looking out
for our "rights." To blow away people I mean.)
In addition, the mere suggestion that nailing a religious plaque
on a schoolroom wall would have the slightest effect whatsoever
on crazed, rage-filled murderous lunatics, is an insult to the
slimmest intelligence. It is just an attempt by the Religious
Right to get a foot in the door so that they can continue their
never-ending, zealous, unconstitutional attempts to proselytize
in all public arenas.
But there are some other not so obvious reasons why this whole
thing is foolish. For those of you who have read my first book,
I'm afraid some of this will be redundant. But if I don't shout
it from the rooftops, now, I may suffer severe internal
injuries or something.
There are no "Ten Commandments" anywhere in
the Bible. I will repeat this since so many people, including
and especially Christians, have no idea what's in the Bible. There
are no Ten Commandments. Just as I am always asking which
God you are talking about, since there are so many to choose from,
I am now asking which Ten Commandments you are talking
about, since there are so many to choose from. While it is true
that in Exodus 20 there is a list of things to do and not to do,
it is not true that the list has ten rules. The only way
to wring the magic number ten out of it is if you ignore some
of the directives and lump several others together and call them
one. It is totally arbitrary, totally misleading and just plain
wrong.
For example, the so-called Ten Commandments begin in Exodus 20, verse 2 or 3, and end with verse 17. Yes, it takes fifteen or sixteen verses to name ten directives—if you accept that there are ten directives. The Jewish version of the first of these commandments is "I am the LORD thy God" (Exod 20:2); but Christians consider that a preamble, and claim that "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" (Exod 20:3) is the first commandment. So who is correct? They can't both be right, can they?
In addition, in Exod 20:24, just seven verses after the misnamed
Decalogue, there is another definite commandment. It is
clearly an imperative. Here it is: "An altar of earth thou
shalt make unto me, and shalt sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings,
and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen: in all places
where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless
thee." So why is this commandment simply ignored? How is
it any different from the others?
Mr. Bob Barr should be sacrificing sheep and oxen in his backyard.
He was clearly told to do so. There is no ambiguity in that commandment.
It should be ox and sheep time everywhere in the Bible Belt.
But even worse than the oxen and sheep thing is what happens
in Exodus chapters 13, 23, 34 and 35—in fact, the entire Old
Testament. It is literally packed with commandments just
as forceful and just as clear (or unclear, depending on your point
of view) as those in Exodus 20 (however many there are). But somehow
they didn't make the Top Ten list.
Confusing things further, in Exodus 34, the commandments given
there are actually described as "replacements." Why?
Because Moses dropped and broke the first set of tablets, the
ones he got in Exodus 20. What a klutz! "And the LORD said
unto Moses, Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first:
and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the
first tables, which thou brakest." (Exod 34:1) [Emphasis
mine.] With these words, along with slamming Moses for being such
a putz, God is saying that the words from the first tablets will
be the same as those on the second set. Again, no ambiguity.
But the two lists aren't even close. Compare the two lists, supposedly identical, keeping in mind that I, like everyone else, have to arbitrarily number the commandments:
|
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy
neighbour. 10. Thou shalt not covet. |
1. Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land whither thou
goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee: But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves:
2. For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
3. Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
4. The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep. Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread, as I commanded thee, in the time of the month
Abib.
5. All that openeth the matrix is mine; and every firstling among thy cattle, whether ox or sheep, that is male.
6. But the firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb: and if thou redeem him not, then shalt thou break his neck.
7. Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest.
8. And thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest.
9. Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven; neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left unto the morning. 10. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk. |
How can those two lists be so utterly different? When old butter
fingers Moses dropped the first set of tablets, the second set
was supposed to be a duplicate, remember? So who decided which
were to be the Ten Commandments? And how did they decide?
Did someone take a vote? Toss a coin? Arm wrestle for their favorites?
To repeat, there are no Ten Commandments.
(For the sake of space, from this point on I will summarize
the commandments; but I will always provide the exact chapter
and verse so you can see I haven't changed anything. It's all
there.)
Likewise, why are the multitudinous other commandments
not talked about? Here's a random sampling: Sons that are gluttons
and drunkards shall be stoned to death. (Deut 21:21) Non-virginal
brides shall be stoned to death. (Deut 22:21) Homosexuals
shall surely be put to death. (Lev 20:13) Beat your children
with rods. (Prov 23:14) Women must keep their mouths shut and
learn only from their husbands. (I Cor 14:34,35)
Surely no one would suggest that these laws represent the epitome
of morality! Yet the Religious Right Representatives in the House,
such as Bob Barr and Robert Aderholt, consider the Exodus 20 list
(heavily edited to make the nice round number ten) to be that
very epitome. But look at what is not mentioned. Nowhere
are there any words forbidding: sexual or physical abuse of a
child; rape; slavery; torture; kidnapping; or spousal abuse. But
almost as bad is that there is no mention of love and compassion
for others. What the heck kind of Grand Moral Code would not mention
those things? A very bad one. That's what kind.
The claim that the Ten Commandments are not promoting
a certain religion, but just encouraging morality, is so outrageously
disingenuous as to be difficult to respond to. The first four
of the ten "official" commandments address nothing but
rules for worshipping the Hebrew God. The remaining six are uninspired,
insipid, incomplete, childish nothings. Almost anyone could
come up with a better list.
However, if Mr. Bob Barr and the rest of his ilk really think
the Bible, all of it, is the inspired word of God, then
they should be destroying altars, breaking images, cutting down
groves, keeping the feast of unleavened bread, offering firstborn
animals as sacrifices, and observing the feast of weeks. Oh, and
they should be taking great pains not to seethe a kid in
its mother's milk. (I never could make heads or tails out of that
one.) But these are clear cut commands, not suggestions. So, Mr.
Barr, et al., you'd better head for the nearest Muslim mosque
with a battering ram, and fire up those barbecue pits.
Such selective editing and culling of the biblical commandments
(actually it's slash-and-burn editing and culling since it eliminates
99% of the Bible's commandments) is the result of the embarrassingly
primitive nature of the excluded commandments. Sacrificing
animals to gods is Stone Age stuff. But Neanderthal mentality
notwithstanding, if fundamentalists are going to insist on their
right to force their primitive commandments into public
places, then any of the rest of us should be able to post our
primitive suggestions for moral behavior, such as the Code of Hammurabi, or the biblical parts about seething kids in milk.
Or maybe even some of the commandments of my own personal deity,
Bob the Raingod:
1. Thou shalt not hog the remote control.
2. Remember Ground Hog Day and keep it holy.
3. Honor thy Web Master that thy site may flourish.
4. Thou shalt not pee in thy neighbor's pool.
5. Thou shalt not stick a fork into a toaster.
6. Thou shalt not break wind in mixed company; but if thou failest, and doth indeed pass gas, thou shalt not suddenly stare at thy spouse with an accusing look on thy face.
7. Thou shalt not pick all the cashews out of the mixed nuts.
8. Thou shalt not chew gum in class unless you bring enough for everyone.
9. Husbands, thou shalt not complain if thy wives complaineth that thou wilt not ask for directions.
10. Thou shalt not balance thy checkbook while standing at
an ATM.
© 1999 Judith Hayes
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